In those early weeks after Ellis died, I found myself scrolling through hundreds of profiles on Instagram; just looking and hoping for someone to help me, but not really knowing what help I needed. I had been told all about Sands, and even offered therapy through my GP, but neither of these things felt right for me at the time. Back then, Sands groups felt too much like an awkward AA meeting and I think I felt I didn’t need therapy, that I wasn’t “that” person, thinking I was